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"The only journey is the one within."
Rainer Maria Rilke 

Forty-seven years ago, driven by the questions, who am I and why am I here, Mikala experienced a profound encounter with the Divine, launching her on a mystical, shamanic journey of soul remembrance. Devoted to her morning practice of deep contemplation, meditation, and journaling and with her teacher, the Spirit Within, her healing journey of self-inquiry blossomed into igniting a fire of her greatest authentic gifts. 

 

Full of passion and love for life, Mikala's greatest joy is assisting others in connecting to and embodying their soul's essence through poetic wisdom and song.  

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My Awakening Journey

​​As a very young child, without any influence from my parents, I intuitively and instinctively felt connected to this Divine Presence, an invisible friend who walked beside me. Gradually this connection dimmed as I absorbed the conditioned beliefs of the world. When I learned I was adopted, subconscious feelings of abandonment festered as a core wound, and I began to look to the outside for my sense of worth and safety. Experiencing unhappiness with my adoptive family, at age 10, I insisted we begin attending church, my attempt to reconnect with the Presence I once knew.  

 

During college, the questions of who I am and why I am here, erupted, fanning a hunger for God and launching me on a spiritual quest. One evening, alone in my dorm room, I fervently prayed asking for more of God’s Spirit. Suddenly, a charge of energy struck me like a lightning bolt, laying me on the floor, as rapturous joy burst my heart wide open. Laughing and crying out in undefinable words, strange languages, I knew the truth of being baptized in the Spirit.

 

From that day on the trajectory of my life changed forever.  My connection to Presence rekindled, I redirected my focus inward to listen to the still small voice of Spirit.  I began a practice that I continue to this day, of early morning meditation, contemplation and prayer, guided by my teacher, the voice of Presence within me. This mystical fervor fueled her maternal years when I would rise in the predawn hours, long before our family of seven awoke, to spend an hour in communion with God.

 

At first I experienced this voice as the voice of Jesus, leading me to confront and let go of fear based, judgmental beliefs within myself which were mirrored outside in the fundamentalist church I attended.  As I became freer inside, I moved on to churches that were less dogmatic, serving in various ministry roles.

 

One day I no longer could fit into the Christian container.  Still perceiving God as separate from me, a powerful dream prompted me into a deeper inquiry of my sense of self.  I faced my fear of being deceived if I moved beyond the confines of Christian beliefs.   An epiphany revealed what I had known all along but simply forgot. I loved God and I knew God loved me. There was no where I could go and not be in the love of God.  Love was all there is, so what was I afraid of? 

 

My world suddenly expanded, because my sense of self expanded.  I began to experience myself more from my essence, an observing Presence witnessing the conditioned patterns of my ego, struggling in limiting patterns of thought and lower vibrating emotions.  I plunged deeper into this alchemical journey, feeling like I was a chemistry set, fine tuning my vibration, letting go of fear and opening more fully to love.  I was loving myself back into the wholeness and perfection of Being I was all along.

 

Two questions, who am I and why am I here, fueled this search for truth my entire life. Paradoxically, the more I let go of what I thought I knew, and surrendered my personal sense of self, my mind’s questioning dissolves into the Mystery.  I’m experiencing no more questions, no more seeking, just a continual opening to life and allowing spirit to move in and through me. 

My heart to nurture others comes from a place of deep compassionate love which I learned to give to myself first, letting go of fear based, limiting beliefs, healing the emotional wounds of separation, and integrating the Divine Presence, the truth of my Being.

With all my heart, loving you,

Mikala Kim

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